An Ignorant Aethist

One fine day, I set out in His search;
on a mission of Divine research,
ignoring my world and rest
towards a rational quest,
to that place, serene and calm
to subdue my inner qualm!
In that time of dusky twilight,
for my growing darkness to light!
God, do you really exist?
a question I could not resist.
Have learnt, you thrive in rock and grain;
but demands a proof, this thinking brain.
'Why dont you come down to me and speak?'
but just heard a bird sing among the distant peak.
'Why dont you just appear and reveal?'
but just saw a bright shine of star through the clouds' veil.
'If real, why dont I feel your presence?'
but just swept by a breeze of flowery essence.
'Why dont I feel the touch of thee?'
but just flew down a butterfly and kissed me.
I waited...I waited patient and long...
without a reply, realized believing you was my wrong!
With anger closed my mind and fist,
and returned home an Enlightened aethist.

(PS: I intentionally finished off as 'enlightened' in contrary to the title 'cos I feel am enlightened and have become and aethist; but the reality is that I have been 'ignorant')

**I owe deep gratitudes to my dearest friend Sindhu for enlightening in the context of this poem.**